Pregnancy

Pregnancy is such a complicated phenomenon. Obviously it's wonderful and a true blessing, but it's also so HARD. Even though I'd consider both of my pregnancies as easy, they have still taken so much out of me, physically and emotionally. Now that I'm coming to the end of what will most likely be my last pregnancy, I'm having a tough time knowing that this is the last time I'll feel life growing inside of me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want more children. I will be as happy as a clam with the two that I've been given. But there is a part of me (that I'm shocked to find out exists) that apparently loves being pregnant and is mourning the loss of that experience. I realize that this may sound selfish and awful. So many people, including some very dear to me, have had continued struggles getting or staying pregnant. Yet here I am complaining about choosing not to do so again. But I can't help it. And ignoring these feelings won't make them go away.

So instead of ignoring my feelings regarding pregnancy, I have decided to embrace them. I am trying to enjoy each little kick, each punch to the ribs, each bout of in-utero hiccups. And instead of hiding my growing self away, I decided that I wanted to have some photos taken to capture this special time in my family's life. I was hesitant to do so, but now that I've done it, I'm so very glad that I did. I want this baby inside me to grow up and see how happy his family was in anticipation of his arrival, and for Jack to remember the time when there were just three of us and how he was so excited for his baby brother to join us.